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September 13, 2013

The 2013 Broadway University Entrance Exam

Congratulations to Susan Berlin, Jack Lechner, Brigadude, Arthur Robinson, Stu Grossman, Donald Tesione, John Griffin, Ron Schroeder, Ingrid Gammerman, Fred Abramowitz, Cathy Jones, Rob Wills, Ted Zoldan and Ira Rappaport.

In that order, they figured out most (and sometimes all) of the answers to The 2013 Broadway University Entrance Exam. The test quoted 50 lyrics and lines from the scripts of Broadway AND off-Broadway musicals – all of which used slang words.

Here’s what this august group of 14 could tell at a glance:

1. “Ah, the daisiest thing it was!” (“Alice Blue Gown” – IRENE)

2. “He was in a class by himself, by gum!” (“Johnny One Note” -- BABES IN ARMS)

3. “Because I bumped off every one of them.” (“To Keep My Love Alive” -- A CONNECTICUT YANKEE)

4. “But he’ll have more common sense than his puddin’-headed father ever had.” (“Soliloquy” -- CAROUSEL)

5. “I look at his plate and I’ll be hornswoggled if he doesn’t leave the whole banana.” (“Conversation Piece” -- WONDERFUL TOWN)

6. “Spruced up and lookin’ in me prime.” (“Get Me to the Church on Time” – MY FAIR LADY)

7. “Go, man, go – but not like a yo-yo schoolboy.” (“Cool” – WEST SIDE STORY)

8. “If I stumbled and I busted my whatchamacallit.” (“Marian the
Librarian -- THE MUSIC MAN)

9. “I wonder why we’re all so poor and they’ve got all the dough.” (“The Other Generation” reprise – FLOWER DRUM SONG)

10. “I’m the cat’s meow. My wardrobe is a wow.” (“All I Need Is the Girl” -- GYPSY)

11. “Man, those chicks don’t know what they’re missin.’” (“A Lot of Livin’ to Do” -- BYE BYE BIRDIE)

12. “Her pad is to write in and not spend the night in.” (“A Secretary Is Not a Toy” -- HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING)

13. “What the hey, what to say? Gotta go all the way.” (“I Said It and I’m Glad” -- SUBWAYS ARE FOR SLEEPING)

14. “I’m all right, Jack! Screw you all!” (“Mumbo Jumbo” -- STOP THE WORLD -- I WANT TO GET OFF)

15. “And the way I keep my pinky up indubitably proves.” (“Elegance” – HELLO, DOLLY!)

16. “We travel single-o.” (“People” -- FUNNY GIRL)

17. “Three year old suit from Robert J. Hall. Jesus H. Christ!” (“Everything’s Great” -- GOLDEN BOY)

18. “What a gas! What a smash! What a blast! What a bash!”
(“I Had a Ball” – I HAD A BALL)

19. “But every time I make a pass, I get the well-known freezeroo.” (“The Woman for the Man” – “IT’S A BIRD, IT’S A PLANE, IT’S SUPERMAN”)

20. “And please, my sweet patater – keep this from the mater.” (“Don’t Tell Mama” -- CABARET)

21. “If only you weren’t so wishy-washy!” (“You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown” – YOU’RE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN)

22. “It’s not for lack of bread like The Grateful Dead.” (“Hair” -- HAIR)

23. “Melaroonie!” (“Who’s That Girl?” -- APPLAUSE)

24. “Hoo, boy! Boy, to be in your shoes, what I wouldn’t give.” (“Have I Got a Girl for You” – COMPANY)

25. “I know who buys and who just lingers -- and who walks out with sticky fingers.” (“Sons” – THE ROTHSCHILDS)

26. “Not even if the whole kaboodle sinks.” (“You Have Got to Have a Rudder on the Ark” – TWO BY TWO)

27. “’Sorry, I thought you were who-ooh-ooh-sis.’” (“I’m Still Here” --

28. “Time to hang a little moolah on the washline.” (“The Babylove Miracle Show” – THE GRASS HARP)

29. “Hold your snickers for the new enchantress of the flickers.” (“Look What Happened to Mabel” -- MACK & MABEL)

30. “Hot patootie! Bless my soul!” (“What Ever Happened to Saturday Night?” – THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW)

31. “Got the bingo-bongos done.” (“Dance: Ten; Looks: Three” – A CHORUS LINE)

32. “God, it sounds so Mickey Mouse.” (“Just a Housewife” -- WORKING)

33. “Everyone’s a victim of this ducky little dictum.” (“The Grass Is
Always Greener” -- WOMAN OF THE YEAR)

34. “It’s true Ike was icky, but better him than Dicky.” (“Bobby and Jackie and Jack” – MERRILY WE ROLL ALONG)

35. “All week long we’re wondering who left a green Givenchy gown in the loo.” (“La Cage aux Folles” – LA CAGE AUX FOLLES)

36. “Then I say, ‘With a kid, you get married.’ People say ‘Echh, what a freak!’” (“At Night She Comes Home to Me” – BABY)

37. “Got himself some bimbo and moved to New Rochelle.” (“Life Story” -- CLOSER THAN EVER)

38. “Now take a closer look at you: I oughta throw the book at you.” (“It Needs Work” – CITY OF ANGELS)

39. “Bart makes Terry touch his winky.” (“Third Grade” – RUTHLESS!)

40. “Yes, he’s sick of being stuck in the sticks.” (“Soldiers’ Gossip” – PASSION)

41. “But haven’t you got a hunch that this is the Real McCoy?” (“Isn’t It Kinda Fun?” -- STATE FAIR)

42. “I see nine months’ work going down the drain.” (“Here We Go Again” -- BIG)

43. “I’m sending you a contract, ker-ching, ker-ching.” (“Voice Mail #3 – RENT)

44. “At the end of our rope, we had given up hope of one last roll in the hay.” (“Along Came Bialy” – THE PRODUCERS)

45. “She’s wasted!” (“You Can Be as Loud As the Hell You Want” – AVENUE Q)

46. “Don’t believe a word of my mother: interfering pain in the can.” (“Daddy’s Girl” – GREY GARDENS)

47. “The kid couldn’t hack it. She’s back and she’s walking real slow.” (“Breathe” – IN THE HEIGHTS)

48. “There’s the preps and there’s the skate punks and the jocks.” (“Get Me What I Need” -- 13)

49. “Holy moley! It’s rising slowly! There in all its wonder.” (“At

50. “And like shazam and bam, here I am!” (“Land of Lola” – KINKY BOOTS)


         — Peter Filichia

You may e-mail Peter at

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