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September 4, 2015

The 2015 Broadway University Entrance Exam Answers

Congratulations to Stephan Artist, Steve Bell, Brigadude, Susan Berlin, Seth Christenfeld, Paco CM, William Cox, Jason Flum, Ingrid Gammerman, Kelsee B. Hankins, James Harris, Cathy Jones, Noel Katz, Ron Langeder, Jack Lechner, Thomas F. McRoberts, Daryl Orts, John Pike, Ira and Jenna Rappaport, Arthur Robinson, Ron Schroeder, Kevin Smith, Ellie Sullivan-Sellars Derek Sylvester, Donald Tesione, Rick Thompson, Matthew Turkle, Paul Winarksi, Rob Wills and Ted Zoldan.

They’re the ones who had varying degrees of success in identifying lines and lyrics centering on body parts from 50 musicals that date from 1929 to 2015 and were arranged chronologically.

So as I welcome in the freshman class at Broadway University, let me remind you that tuition is $1,000 or a ticket to HAMILTON.

The answers:

1. “You’ll get a pain and ruin your tum-tum.” (“Button up Your Overcoat” – FOLLOW THRU)

2. “They made me say ‘Ah’ and told me to grunt; examined my back, examined my front.” (“Chain Store Daisy” -- PINS AND NEEDLES)

3. “His fingernails have never looked so clean.” (“Poor Jud Is Dead” -- OKLAHOMA!)

4. “The day we drink our drinkie up but with the little pinky up.” (“When the Idle Poor Become the Idle Rich” -- FINIAN’S RAINBOW)

5. “But stiff back or stiff knees, you stand straight at Tiff’ny’s.” (“Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend” – GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES)

6. “You call a lady’s chest a chest instead of her points of interest.” (“He Had Refinement” -- A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN)

7. “We were dancing, and her eyelash blinked on my lash.” (“Marriage Type Love” -- ME AND JULIET)

8. “And your heart and soul are what I came for.” (“Whatever Lola Wants” -- DAMN YANKEES)

9. “And this little piggy is the littlest little piggy, but the big son-of-a-bitch hurts the most.” (“Ooh, My Feet!” -- THE MOST HAPPY FELLA)

10. “My sister wears a mustache.” (“Gee, Officer Krupke” -- WEST SIDE STORY)

11. “If I stumbled and I busted my whatchamacallit.” (“Marian the Librarian” -- THE MUSIC MAN)

12. “They’ll get splinters in their little fannies.” (“Don’t Marry Me” -- FLOWER DRUM SONG)

13. “Grind your behind till you’re banned.” (“You Gotta Get a Gimmick” – GYPSY)

14. “You should hear him tell the way I swept him off his big flat feet.” (“I Love a Cop” -- FIORELLO!)

15. “And that contraption she calls her nose.” (“I Ain’t Down Yet” -- THE UNSINKABLE MOLLY BROWN)

16. “I’m a little bit short of the elbow room but let me get me some.”
(“Hey, Look Me Over” -- WILDCAT)

17. “Heck! You’re stepping on my neck!” (“What’s New at the Zoo?” – DO RE MI)

18. “Ribs I should be cracking, eyes to gouge and booty to divide.” (“Bring Me My Bride” -- A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM)

19. “When a girl’s incidentals are no bigger than two lentils.” (“If a Girl Isn’t Pretty” -- FUNNY GIRL)

20. “Each time that a critic has written your voice is the voice of a frog.” (“Bosom Buddies” – MAME)

21. “When I had a man, my figure was boyish and flat.” (“So What?” -- CABARET)

22. “I have such a sweet tooth when it comes to love.” (“Black Boys” – HAIR)

23. “Watch her pucker those red-hot Tangee lips.” (“Who’s That Girl?” -- APPLAUSE)

24. “Incredible results! Hey, look -- I got a pulse!” (“Ninety Again” -- TWO BY TWO)

25. “First you’re another sloe-eyed vamp.” (“I’m Still Here” -- FOLLIES)

26. “In secret rooms, I tiptoe barefoot over naked bazooms.” (“Floozies” -- THE GRASS HARP)

27. “What thinks my fabulous gal of my alimentary canal?” (“Thurio’s Samba” -- TWO GENTLEMEN OF VERONA)

28. “There are mouths to be kissed before mouths to be fed.” (“The Miller’s Son” -- A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC)

29. “And let me lubricate my mind. And let me lubricate my mind. And let me lubricate my mind.” (“Slide Some Oil to Me” – THE WIZ)

30. “But it’s the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane.” (“Time Warp” -- THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW)

31. “That’s no great physique. Lord knows he ain’t got the smarts.” (“Funny Honey” – CHICAGO)

32. “Got the bingo-bongos done.” (“Dance: 10; Looks: 3” -- A CHORUS LINE) (Ira and Jenna Rappaport thought the name of the song was ““Dance: 10; TITS: 3.”)

33. “With or without his privates?” (“A Little Priest” -- SWEENEY

34. “I strap on my fake boobs again.” (“A Little More Mascara” – LA CAGE AUX FOLLES)

35. “If my bust was smaller.” (“Color and Light” – SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE)

36. “Presenting now that comedy master. That singular grin above that double chin.” (“I Get Myself Out” -- GRIND)

37. “There’s a lump on her rump.” (“Prologue” – INTO THE WOODS)

38. “I wanna see the bald spot.” (“Sitting Watching Jason Play Baseball” -- FALSETTOS)

39. “No more crows’ feet, no more flab. No more love handles to grab.” (“Eternal Youth Is Worth a Little Suffering” – SUNSET BOULEVARD)

40. “In that little town of Bethlehem we raise our glass – you bet your ass.” (“La Vie Boheme” – RENT)

41. “You won’t be disappointed. I’m also double-jointed.” (“Everybody’s Girl” -- STEEL PIER)

42. “I can imagine me with you, but I don’t have the guts to follow through.” (“Private Conversation” -- SIDE SHOW)

43. “Her legs were built to drive men mad -- and she did.” (“Queenie Was a Blonde” – THE WILD PARTY)

44. “And that’s a bonus, ‘cause when you’re swinging your cojones you’ll show ‘em what testosterone is.” (“Man” -- THE FULL MONTY)

45. “Don’t believe a word of my mother, interfering pain in the can.”
(“Daddy’s Girl” -- GREY GARDENS)

46. “‘Cause my day’s at the piano with my teacher and her breasts.” (“The Bitch of Living” – SPRING AWAKENING)

47. “Straighten the spine. Smile for the neighbors.” (“Breathe” -- IN THE HEIGHTS)

48. “What if she never nails my tongue to the bathroom floor?” (“What If?” -- THE ADDAMS FAMILY)

49. “Imagine that your brain is made of tiny boxes.” (“Turn It Off” – THE BOOK OF MORMON)

50. “Don’t be a penis. The man is a genius.” (“God, I Hate Shakespeare” -- SOMETHING ROTTEN!)

         — Peter Filichia



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