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May 27, 2016

The 2016 Broadway University Final Exam Answers

Congratulations to Fred Abramowitz, Peter Alfano, Steve Bell, Susan Berlin, Brigadude, Regina Miller DeCuzzi, Bill Downs, Laura Frankos, Ingrid Gammerman, Kurt Ganzl, John Griffin, Joe Harris, Jack Lechner, Ken Kantor, Daniel Kochanowicz, Helen Powell, Paul Roberts, Arthur Robinson, Steve Rosenthal, Ron Schroeder, Marty Silverberg, Derek Sylvester and Rob Wills.

They’re the ones who braved The 2016 Broadway University Final Exam, in which I listed 50 lyrics and lines from Broadway AND off-Broadway musicals -- chronologically arranged from 1929 to 2011 -- all of which referenced God. Although many of them may have used a certain expletive (probably first recorded by Susan Johnson on WHOOP-UP before her final “Men” in the song by that name), others pursued the test with religious fervor. My blessings to all!

1. “And so I ask the Lord in heaven above.” (“What Is This Thing Called Love?” – WAKE UP AND DREAM)
2. “The gods above me, who must be in the know, think so little of me.” (“Every Time We Say Goodbye” -- THE SEVEN LIVELY ARTS)

3. “Let the Lord shout and yell. Let His eyes flash flame. I promise not to quiver when He calls my name.” (“The Highest Judge of All” -- CAROUSEL) 

4. “Before Lord God made the sea and the land.” (“Lost in the Stars” -- LOST IN THE STARS)

5. “That’s the moment I woke up, thank the Lord.” (“Sit Down You’re Rocking the Boat” -- GUYS AND DOLLS)

6. “I’m a god, I’m a god, I’m a god.” (“Prologue” -- OUT OF THIS WORLD)

7. “Buddha make a miracle!” (“The Small House of Uncle Thomas” -- THE KING AND I)

8. “But now I’m lost -- so Gol-durn lost.” (“They Call the Wind Maria” -- PAINT YOUR WAGON)

9. “But since the gods gave me you to adore, I may lose but I refuse to fight the fire.” (“I Am in Love” -- CAN-CAN)

10. “As sure as the Lord made little green apples.” (“76 Trombones” – THE MUSIC MAN)

11. “The naggin’ that a woman does? ‘Tis all she’s got, God help her.” (“Old Sayin’s” -- JUNO)

12. “God, mother, God, mother, God, mother, where can you be?” (“Happily Ever After” -- ONCE UPON A MATTRESS)

13. “Please, God, don’t let me be normal.” (“Much More” -- THE FANTASTICKS)

14. “Assailed by doubts and fears so great the gods themselves would weep.” (“That Dirty Old Man” -- A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM)

15. “In a way, it’s a little like the voice of God.” (“No More Candy” -- SHE LOVES ME)

16. “And Lord God Almighty, now won’t that be a sight?” (“The Rain Song” – 110 IN THE SHADE)

17. “It’s my duty to assist the Lord above.” (“I Put My Hand In” -- HELLO, DOLLY!)

18. “Madre de Dio! Is this the end of Big Eddie Confetti?” (“Lights – Camera – Platitude!” – WHAT MAKES SAMMY RUN?)

19. “God would like us to be joyful, even when our hearts lie panting on the floor.” (“To Life” -- FIDDLER ON THE ROOF)

20. “Oh, my Lord, there it goes again.” (“Do I Hear a Waltz?” – DO I HEAR A WALTZ?)

21. “The cow that jumped ovah cried ‘Jumpin’ Jehovah!’” (“The Man in the Moon” -- MAME)

22. “Show it long as God can grow it.” (“Hair” -- HAIR)

23. “God is dead. That’s what they said. I read it in an interview.” (“Not My Problem” – CELEBRATION)

24. “Good God, Sir – was that fair?” (“Piddle, Twiddle and Resolve” – 1776)

25. “The Lord lives up in heaven. Devil lives in hell.” (“New Fangled Preacher Man” – PURLIE)

26. “If there were two of you or -- God forbid -- a few of you.” (“One of a Kind” -- APPLAUSE)

27. “It’s not talk of God and the decade ahead that allows you to get through the worst.” (“The Little Things You Do Together” – COMPANY)

28. “Oh, Lord on high, you’ve heard my plea -- and now I’ll try for three.” (“Sons” – THE ROTHSCHILDS)

29. “If God would have wanted discussion, then God would have said ‘Let’s discuss it.’” (“You Have Got to Have a Rudder on the Ark” -- TWO BY TWO)

30. “Lord, Lord, Lord: that woman is me.” (“Who’s That Woman?” -- FOLLIES)

31. “You really do believe this talk of God is true.” (“Heaven on My Mind” -- JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR)

32. HE: “I’m delighted.” SHE: “Oh, my God.” (“A Weekend in the Country” -- A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC)

33. “For to suffer as the Lord is to have my faith restored.” (“Pass the Cross to Me” – SHENANDOAH)
34. “God bless Lily St. Cyr!” (“Rose Tint My World” -- THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW)

35. “God, I really blew it!” (“I Hope I Get It” -- A CHORUS LINE)

36. “God knows what your grandpa’s snuffin’.” (“Everybody Today Is Turning On” -- I LOVE MY WIFE)

37. “There is indeed a Higher Power to warn me thus in time.” (“Pretty Women” -- SWEENEY TODD)

38. “God don’t answer prayers a lot.” (“Now You Know” -- MERRILLY WE ROLL ALONG)

39. “I would like to be Christ, Muhammad, Buddha but not have to believe in God.” (“Guido’s Song” -- NINE)

40. “Oh, God, how I mist you.” (“Grow for Me” – LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS)
41. “He’s like the son I might have known if God had granted me a son.” (“Bring Him Home” -- LES MISERABLES)

42. “For God’s sake, isn’t the baby here yet?” (“Grand Hotel” – GRAND HOTEL)

43. “And God knew -- because God hated His.” (“Everyone Hates His Parents” -- FALSETTOS)

44. “Make the show a hit, God, most of all, God -- let the people laugh.” (“Twenty Million People” – MY FAVORITE YEAR)
45. “There must be Someone Up There watching over me.” (“What Do I Need with Love?” – THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE)

46. “You sit in the Quad and think ‘Oh, my God! I am totally gonna go far!” (“I Wish I Could Go Back to College” -- AVENUE Q)

47. “Dionysos, we are come to thank you for the gentle tendrils that intertwine to produce the grapes that produce the wine.” (“Hymn to Dionysos” -- THE FROGS)

48. “Unless some Act of God divine derails the New York-Montauk line.” (“The Five-Fifteen” -- GREY GARDENS)

49. “God, I dreamed there was an angel who could hear me through the wall.” (“The Bitch of Living” -- SPRING AWAKENING)

50. “On the day I got to heaven, Heavenly Father will shake my hand and say ‘You’ve done an awesome job.’” (“You and Me [But Mostly Me]” -- THE BOOK OF MORMON)

  — Peter Filichia





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