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May 16, 2014

The 2014 Broadway University Final Exam

Do musical theater enthusiasts really not care about sports? I’m acquainted with dozens of musical theater fans who know that runs and hits are not simply relegated to Broadway; they’re part of baseball, too. And don’t football, basketball and hockey all boast of having playmakers?

For your 2014 Broadway University Final Exam, let’s see how many of these sports-centric lines and lyrics you can identify. They’re all arranged in the chronological order of which the musicals opened, so that should help your identifying both the song and the musical from which they come.

Play ball! All answers must be sent to me by 11:59 p.m. on Saturday, May 31 at

1. “I go to ballgames; the bleachers are fine.”

2. “Every time I play a little golf, I’m always over par.”

3. “Just when the fun’s beginning comes the final inning.”

4. “We got volleyball and ping-pong and a lot of dandy games.”

5. “Here’s to Valentino, the Park Casino, the Big Bambino.”

6. “And you give me a kiss and you’re grabbin’ your hat and you’re off to the races again.”

7. “Round Three. That’s when the boy kayoed me.”

8. “The man all women all whisper of … the Joe DiMaggio of love.”

9. “Just say, ‘Bunt?! Are you nuts? With one out and two men on base, and a left-handed batter coming up, you’ll walk right into a triple play, just like it happened in the fifth game of the World Series in 1923.’”

10. “And I’ll bet I can upset every male in a Yale regatta.”

11. “At the gate are all the horses waiting for the cue to fly away.”

12. “I’d like to join a golf club? Where? They built a supermarket there – and for the public!”

13. “Carol Reed and Sammy Snead and Deborah Kerr – Anna May Wong.”

14. “Not a wholesome trotting race, no, but a race where they set down right on the horse.”

15. “Medicine balls. Mohawk Indian carpets, good-luck Indian pennies, Cleveland Indians outfield.”

16. “All out or all in, and whether it’s win, place or show.”

17. “Hitting the ball through the wicket. Pushing the ball isn’t cricket.”

18. “When you fall on the ball and you’re down there at the bottom of the heap.”

19. “The game was won, but I tossed it … I caught the ball, but I fumbled.”

20. SHE: “Even fight my Bill?” HE: “What, fisticuffs?”

21. “From the pitchers to the hitters, from the babies to their sitters.”

22. “Your turn at bat, sir. At least I didn’t fake it.”

23. “And, of course, in certain cases, a dark horse will win some races.”

24. “She’s bluebirds and baseball and hitting a long one.”

25. “We will show you we’re the best team in the very Little League this year.”

26. “But could you guess what a bloody mess if a Green Bay Packer kissed a Ram?”

27. “Tons of confetti, Dempsey-Tunney, Sacco and Vanzetti.”

28. “And I’d be six-foot-eight and my jump shot was really great.”

29. “The girl’s hockey team from Bennington, Vermont!”

30. “The Mets are winning three-to-one; the infield shows a lot of strength.”

31. “If you have nine sons in a row, baseball teams make money, you know.”

32. “Then I went out for cheerleader! And they told me: ‘No dice; you’ll get lost on the football field. The pom-poms are bigger than you.’”

33. “Gotten sick of bowling? Find the TV unconsoling? Had enough of Scrabble?”

34. “Oh, and get that Don Budge fellow.”

35. “Right between the goalposts!”

36. “Pray for him. Pray for us all. But pray for the boy with the ball.”

37. “It’s our heads on the block. Give us room and start the clock.”

38. “He says he’s at the ballgame every day. Girls, I think he scored a triple play.”

39. “Shall we say the ball is in your court?”

40. “Folks, the ones that can’t get in to the ball park.”

41. “Remember Sandy Koufax. You can do it if you wanna do it. Take heart from Hank Greenberg.”

42. “We’re an unusual duo. Don’t always swim with the tide.”

43. “It’s Braves and Giants, two to two. The pitcher’s name is Hub Purdue.”

44. “You fake, you spin, you drive and then you’re in the paint. You pump, jump, and you’re up there!”

45. “You’ll be good at sports, know the slang you’ve got to know.”

46. “Am I a Red Sock or a Yankee?”

47. “Who cares if there’s no booze or if the Yankees lose?”

48. “The Dodgers and Brooklyn – a permanent team.”

49. “Just ask one maître d’ or a tailor in Paris. Go ask Roger Maris!”

50. “Farewell to Chevrolets, to Willie Mays, the corner store.”

Once again: mail all answers to


         — Peter Filichia

You may e-mail Peter at

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and each Friday at

His book, Strippers, Showgirls, and Sharks: A Very Opinionated History of Musicals That Did Not Win the Tony Award,
is now available at

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