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May 13, 2016

The 2016 Broadway University Final Exam

The Puritans, as SOMETHING ROTTEN! has been reminding us for more than a year, hated the theater because they thought it Godless. Well, perhaps in was in those days, but you have to admit that musical theater has done its part to keep The Lord’s Name in front of the public.

To prove it, I’ve listed 50 lyrics and lines from Broadway AND off-Broadway musicals -- chronologically arranged from 1929 to 2011 -- all of which reference The Higher Being. May God be with you as you try to pass the Broadway University Final Exam.

All answers are due by Monday, May 23 at 11:59 p.m. at

1. “And so I ask the Lord in heaven above.”
2. “The gods above me, who must be in the know, think so little of me.”
3. “Let the Lord shout and yell. Let His eyes flash flame. I promise not to quiver when He calls my name.”

4. “Before Lord God made the sea and the land.”
5. “That’s the moment I woke up, thank the Lord.”
6. “I’m a god, I’m a god, I’m a god.”
7. “Buddha make a miracle!”
8. “But now I’m lost -- so Gol-durn lost.”
9. “But since the gods gave me you to adore, I may lose but I refuse to fight the fire.”

10. “As sure as the Lord made little green apples.”

11. “The naggin’ that a woman does? ‘Tis all she’s got, God help her.”
12. “God, mother, God, mother, God, mother, where can you be?”

13. “Please, God, don’t let me be normal.”
14. “Assailed by doubts and fears so great the gods themselves would weep.”
15. “In a way, it’s a little like the voice of God.”

16. “And Lord God Almighty, now won’t that be a sight?”
17. “It’s my duty to assist the Lord above.”

18. “Madre de Dio! Is this the end of Big Eddie Confetti?”

19. “God would like us to be joyful, even when our hearts lie panting on the floor.”

20. “Oh, my Lord, there it goes again.”

21. “The cow that jumped ovah cried ‘Jumpin’ Jehovah!’”
22. “Show it long as God can grow it.”

23. “God is dead. That’s what they said. I read it in an interview.”

24. “Good God, Sir – was that fair?”

25. “The Lord lives up in heaven. Devil lives in hell.”
26. “If there were two of you or -- God forbid -- a few of you.”

27. “It’s not talk of God and the decade ahead that allows you to get through the worst.”
28. “Oh, Lord on high, you’ve heard my plea -- and now I’ll try for three.”

29. “If God would have wanted discussion, then God would have said ‘Let’s discuss it.’”

30. “Lord, Lord, Lord: that woman is me.”
31. “You really do believe this talk of God is true.”
32. HE: “I’m delighted.” SHE: “Oh, my God.”

33. “For to suffer as the Lord is to have my faith restored.”
34. “God bless Lily St. Cyr!”

35. “God, I really blew it!”
36. “God knows what your grandpa’s snuffin’.”
37. “There is indeed a Higher Power to warn me thus in time.”

38. “God don’t answer prayers a lot.”

39. “I would like to be Christ, Muhammad, Buddha but not have to believe in God.”

40. “Oh, God, how I mist you.”
41. “He’s like the son I might have known if God had granted me a son.”

42. “For God’s sake, isn’t the baby here yet?”

43. “And God knew -- because God hated His.”
44. “Make the show a hit, God, most of all, God -- let the people laugh.”
45. “There must be Someone Up There watching over me.”

46. “You sit in the Quad and think ‘Oh, my God! I am totally gonna go far!’”
47. “Dionysos, we are come to thank you for the gentle tendrils that intertwine to produce the grapes that produce the wine.”

48. “Unless some Act of God divine derails the New York-Montauk line.”
49. “God, I dreamed there was an angel who could hear me through the wall.”

50. “On the day I got to heaven, Heavenly Father will shake my hand and say ‘You’ve done an awesome job.’”




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