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January 16, 2015

The 2015 Broadway University Mid-Term Exam

While the musical is an inherently American art form, it hasn’t neglected other nationalities – as is proved by the 50 examples that make up this year’s Broadway University Mid-Term Exam.

Here are 50 lines and lyrics that graced musicals produced between 1930 to 2014. They include both Broadway and off-Broadway shows, and are listed in the order that they opened.

All entries are due by Tuesday, February 3 at 11:59 p.m. at May you be as lucky as the Irish in solving this mid-term.

1. “You and you alone bring out the Gypsy in me.”

2. “Give it back to the birds and bees and the Viennese.”

3. “Mother’s a Swede and father’s a Scot and so Irish I’m not and never have been.”

4. “If in Lesbos, a pure Lesbian can.”

5. “Then he’d make his usual reply: that old reliable Andalusian rhyme.”

6. “The kind of confection to drive a man out of his Mesopotamian mind.”

7. “Italians hate Yugoslavs; South Africans hate the Dutch.”

8. “And furthermore, the Pygmy tribes in Africa may have a war.”

9. “Arabians learn Arabian with the speed of summer lightning.”

10. “Napkin on the floor, ashes in the cup and one Canadian dime.”

11. “‘Cuz every Puerto-Rican’s a lousy chicken.”

12. “Even if you can quote Balzac and Shakespeare and all them other hi-falutin’ Greeks.”

13. “A stately Scandanavian type; a buxom, blue-eyed blonde.”

14. “The Finns and Lapps were reduced to a helpless stammer.”

15. “No Trojan horse – and a happy ending, of course.”

16. “Egyptian, Persian -- only one version; no other stands a chance.”

17. “Listen to an old Hungarian’s philosophy.”

18. “I’m through and through red, white and blue-ish. I talk this way because I’m British.”

19. “The Germans! Today! Heil!”

20. “No middle-class Brazilians who somehow never pay.”

21. “Why does he claim he’s Castilian? He thayth that he’th Cathtilian.”

22. “I can hear Hawaiian breezes blow.”

23. “The forties burn because the trumpets blare. The Yanks are coming, coming over there.”

24. “Mau Mau … and President of the United States of Love.”

25. “I could tell he was a Turk, but I liked him, anyway.”

26. “Those Siamese twins from faraway Peru.”

27. “Ashanti! Ibo! Ibo! Ibo! Ibo!”

28. “An Indian word meaning ‘hate.’ But the people smile all the time there and the cultural advantages are great.”

29. “We’ll find a million buck surprise to light those little Polish eyes.”

30. “In the castle of the King of the Belgians, we would visit through a false chiffonier.”

31. “Comes the monkey wrench! Smell that awful stench. Probably the French.”

32. “Here’s an example: ‘Two-down: A Peruvian poison dart.’”

33. “If what the Puritans forbid just ev’ry now and then we did.”

34. “Kill the Bosche!”

35. “With a gesture so gentle, or do it again ‘til it’s near Oriental.”

36. “That’s all very well, but what are we going to do about the Eye-talian?”

37. “The first case I defended – a poor old Muscovite – got 14 years for forging checks.”

38. “Number One genius and Number One fan … Daughter if well-to-do Florentine clan.”

39. “Fifty years from now, they’ll still be arguing about the grassy knoll, the Mafia, some Cuban crouched behind a stockade fence.”

40. “That’s it! No more Vietnamese! Get in!”

41. “Every girl in the chorus line is a genuine Philistine.”

42. “His hair, though – is it Cherokee? It’s black enough to be.”

43. “It’s ze only kind of music zat ve Huns und our honeys love to sing.”

44. “I’m your Hebrew slave, at your service.”

45. “Where you been? The term is Asian-American.”

46. “Not a tree or a Jew to block the lovely view.”

47. “And don’t bother me with Moliere; those Russians never pay.”

48. “Is he gay or European?”

49. “I’m Chile-Domini-Curican, but I always say I’m from Queens.”

50. “The shy ones, the spry ones, the grey ones, the fey ones, the oldish, the newish, the Irish, the Jewish.”

         — Peter Filichia



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His book, Strippers, Showgirls, and Sharks: A Very Opinionated History of Musicals That Did Not Win the Tony Award,
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